CHIVALRY OR SUBTLE SEXISM?

Why is it still a discussion? Why do people presume women need help with
simple tasks like opening doors, carrying bags, or calling cabs?

By Ishita Katoch

Society has long assigned roles based on gender, women as the ones receiving help, men as the ones ordering it. But as times change, so should these assumptions. Juggling careers, families, and personal goals doesn’t call for special treatment, it’s just life. A mother carrying a child, groceries, managing deadlines, or handling daily challenges isn’t a sign of struggle, It’s simply the reality of modern life, met with confidence and capability.

But this is not just about assumptions placed on one gender; it’s about the
expectations placed on everyone. It’s not just about some being seen as
dependent, but also about others being expected to be protectors, and
providers, whether they want to or not. While one side faces the thinking of
dependency, the other carries responsibility.

Jyaditya Dogra, 23, a law student, from Delhi Metropolitan Education, Noida, explains, “Men are expected to be strong and always offer help, but what about when we need it? If I’m struggling, no one rushes to assist me. That’s the flip side of these gender-based rules.” Consideration should go both ways, regardless of gender. Acts of kindness shouldn’t be tied to being a man or a woman, it should simply be about being a good person.

However, perspectives differ. Semal Juneja, 19, a fashion design student at Pearl Academy, Delhi, believes that gestures of politeness are meaningful only when they stem from genuine respect, and care. She emphasizes that such actions should not be driven by outdated roles or obligations, but should occur naturally, like any act of kindness. According to her, she appreciates it when a partner opens a door for her, not out of a sense of duty, but as a thoughtful gesture. For her, sincerity matters more than expectation.

So, does chivalry take away from a woman’s strength, or is it about respect? Pooja Arora, 26, an automobile and garage equipment business owner, has a strong opinion, “I run a business, make tough decisions, and manage responsibilities. When someone insists on carrying my laptop bag or holding doors for me at work, I don’t see the point. Kindness is great, but I don’t need extra attention. I appreciate respect, but it shouldn’t come at the cost of assuming, I need assistance where I don’t.”

People are leading industries, setting new standards, and proving their
strength every day. In a crowded Metro, a seat should be given to those
who truly need it, regardless of gender. Does chivalry reflect care, or does it
highlight the very inequalities, we are trying to move past?

So, let’s stop assuming things. Men don’t always need to be the heroes, and women don’t always need saving, we’re all just trying to get through the day without spilling our coffee. Next time you see someone struggling a lot, offer help, but don’t act like they can never do it. We’re all just trying to keep it together.

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