LOVE IS NOT A GROUP PROJECT

A relationship is between two people. Yet, everyone has an opinion, and worse, people let those perceptions affect their judgment.

By Prerna Arora

Somehow, when someone enters a relationship, it automatically becomes everyone’s business. Friends become self-proclaimed love gurus, starting to analyse every detail.

Imagine taking advice from someone with five failed situationships and ten talking stages that never made it past the “what you doing” phase. It won’t do any good, but it will make you overthink your perfectly fine relationship until it falls apart.

“He did not text back for three hours? That is a red flag.” Or, “She is hanging out with her male friends? Not serious enough.” Before you know it, you are fighting with your partner over entirely normal behaviour, just because someone with commitment issues said so.

“If I had just focused on what we had instead of what my best friends thought, I would have never lost someone who truly cared about me,” says Alyssa Kapoor, a 19-year-old business student at Institute of Integrated Learning in Management, Delhi. Sometimes, listening to everyone else makes you miss what actually matters, and by the time you realise it, you can not always get it back.

Then there is social media, where a random Instagram reel convinces you that if your partner does not call you every single hour, they don’t love you. The internet takes minor inconveniences and turns them into breakup-worthy situations. Meanwhile, the people spreading this nonsense probably have not been in a stable relationship ever.

The worst part is, we absorb these outside opinions and let them shape our feelings. Suddenly, you are questioning things that never bothered you before, start doubting your partner and overthinking every little thing. And before you know it, you are unsure about a relationship that was perfectly fine.

For God’s sake, have your own opinions and make your judgements. Letting others’ assumptions run your love life turns into an anxiety spiral, which makes you question problems that never existed.

Ayush Singh, a 20-year-old Economics Student at Bhartiya Vidhya Peeth, Delhi University, says, “A third person would never know on what terms you two people operate in a relationship.”Every relationship has its own dynamics that outsiders might not understand. “Friends misinterpret the situation and give advice based on their perspective, which might not align with how my partner and I handle things,” he added.

And let us not forget family, because this unwanted relationship advice does not just stop at friends or social media. It finds its way to your dining table, where your aunt casually drops, “If he really loves you, he will never let you pay for the food.” Right, because apparently, financial independence does not exist when you are in a relationship.

Relationships are messy, imperfect, and unique to each couple. What works for someone else won’t necessarily work for you. And yet, we are constantly bombarded with advice, unrealistic expectations, and toxic relationship standards.

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